Parent-Led Soothing Approach
The parent-led soothing approach is an alternative to self-soothing. This method is also very effective, but can take a little longer. In this approach, you can enter the room to soothe your child, so it may be a good option if you just cannot ignore crying at bedtime. These are the steps for the parent-led soothing method:
Go back into the room for a few minutes.
After you put your child to bed, return after a few minutes – 2-3 minutes is a good starting point. Your return should be based on time ONLY – not what your child is doing. You want to stop the connection your child has between crying or doing other things (whining, calling for you) and you returning.
Keep your return brief.
Give your child a quick kiss or back rub or tuck in, and then say goodnight again. Tell them you will be back to check on them again soon.
Gradually increase the amount of time before you return to the room.
Repeat steps 1-2, but increase the time in between visits. These increases should take place over the course of the same night. The exact timing between visits can be adjusted slightly based on your child’s age or temperament (younger and fussier children may need to be checked on more frequently). To get you started, we recommend the following schedule:
If your child is still not asleep by the time you get to 30 min, continue with 30-min check-ins.
After your child is successful for a few nights, the first check-in can be delayed.
You will determine what a successful night is, but generally it means that your child is crying less or not at all and falling asleep earlier. Once you reach this point, your first check in can be after 5 min (instead of 2-3 min). As your child continues to be successful, you can start the first check-in later and later.